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The Otakon Con Report

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Sep. 16th, 2005 | 08:25 pm
music: Devil May Cry 2 - Opening
posted by: turkswithrabies in turksonbroadway

Ok, mind you, I did this after lack of sleep, and much traveling. SO.

Without further delay.



Thursday
So I woke up at 4:30 in the morning, and I couldn't get back to bed. I was so excited and bouncy. I went online to check some things, rolled around in bed for a bit, and, finally, Art woke up. So we chatted, and then he went back to bed. Thus, I was alone again. So I packed, made sure everything was all set and done, and waited.

When we arrived at the airport, I couldn't wait to get on the plane. I was like a small child; impatient and bouncy. I went through security no problem, and soon I was sitting, slouched, and listening to MSI. I talked to some lady for a while about how red my hair was. Yeah.

Then I went on the plane. HURRAY.

On the plane, I talked to some guy about college. Blah blah. BORING.

So, the plane lands, and I begin the finding the exit out of BWI adventure. And, of course, I get LOST. So I'm wandering all around, with plenty of people STARING at me. Then, finally, I find the "EXIT AND BAGGAGE CLAIM" hall, and go down there.

That's when I see Jay, and Jay is pulling a JACK SHINRA.

And he looks HOT.


When we got to his house, his grandmother was fucking estatic to see me. She was similiar to this:

"YOU'RE THAT BOY FROM MASSASCHUSETTS. OH WE'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU. COME DEAR, COME SIT DOWN AND EAT. HOW WAS YOUR FLIGHT?"

She was a nice lady, I must admit. So was Mr. D.

So, Jay and I ate some awesome Dunkin Donuts breakfast sandwiches, and soon we were on our way to Baltimore. We took the light rail in, like awesome people, and found our way to the convention center.

And holy shit guys, I've never seen so many people in my fucking LIFE.

We finally found Robin AKA Katsu Rufus, and cut in line with her. We gabbed for a while, and made LAME calls at people walking in front of us.

Example:

Jay: "YOUR FACE."
Me: "YOUR MOM'S VAGINA."
Jay: "YOUR DEAD GRANDMOTHER'S HOT ASS."

It was great.

After, we got out badges, then went out to get some sushi. We both had eel and grab and it was AWESOME, until I had to take a piss. But, I hate public bathrooms, and Baltimore is scary, so I refused to use the tiolet. So Jay got pissed, and called Kitty. They both, then, proceeded to make fun of me, and my fear of tiolets. Then Jay and I went to Light Street. There, we listened to some tunes, and went into Barnes and Nobles.

There, I took a piss. THE END.

So, after, we took a train back to Jay's Dad's house, and after, we went to Kitty's hotel. There, crack happened.

And I had my first shot of vodka. AND IT BURNED. And Kitty and Jay were like, "HOLY CRAP. HA."

Gay.


Friday
Blah. Next morning I get into Reno gear, Jay does the Don, and Kitty sports Billy Lee Black. And we go to the convention center.

We get everything set up, and I meet Soshi, who is AWESOME BY THE WAY. And Robin comes over in Reno garb, and she and I go terrorize the convention.

But before that, Robin, Jay and I are sitting at Jay's art table, and a Quistis comes over. And we pull the three slum shits on her.

Jay: "Hey baby, come over here and give me some PUNISHMENT. I've been a bad little SEED."
Me: "I'll show you SEED BABY!"
Robin: "Oh baby, give me some of that WHIP."

And she gets PISSED. Holy shit, she got so pissed off, and glared at us. So, when they left, Robin and I went off to harrass more people. Needless to say, we created chaos as Reno(s).

First, we found a Tifa. And we made some jokes. Then we found the Quistis again, and began HUMPING at her. It was fucking GREAT.

The Dealer's Room was our next target area. There, we found a Yuffie, and since I am too lazy to do this properly, I shall do it in script form.

Me: " *waltzes up* Hey baby, come steal some of my materia. IN. MY. PANTS."
Robin: "My mako reactor is about to EXPLODE for you BABY."
Yuffie: "Eh?"
Me: "We're going off to WUTAI! *makes ninja motions* "
Robin: "WUUUTAAAIII *makes ninja motions* "
Yuffie: "Make you two could meet me in Wutai. *blows kisses* "
Robin and I: "*make humping motions at Yuffie* SQUEAKITY SQUEAKITY SQUEAKITY."

So, we find a girl looking for YAOI shots next. And Robin's like, "We can give you some YAOI."

And her face lights up. And just because we're assholes, we go to do it, and then we turn around, and hump at her, yelling, "SQUEAKITY SQUEAKITY SQUEAKITY!"

And we run away, while she BITCHES.

It was great.




Saturday

So we go, and Kitty is now Reno too. I get dragged off by a Shinra group that day, and Robin is now Rufus, and I have found a Tseng, a Rude, and a bunch of Reno(s). So what do I do?

I be the biggest ASS IN THE WORLD.

In the middle of the Final Fantasy VII photo shoot, I jump on Robin's back, yelling that Rufus is my mighty steed. THAT got some attention.

Then, all of us Turks raided the dealer's room, and I began making sexual references to people. Meanwhile, the Tseng is like, "RENO, YOU'RE FIRED." And Robin is like, "YOU'RE ULTRA FIRED."

And I just turned around, and grinned, then continued on my ASSHOLE-IC way.

So, the Turks migrated to the Pratt-Street Lobby. There, we hung out for a bit because we were wicked tired. And a Rinoa and a Squall walk by. So I ask, "Hey guys, give me a dollar, and I'll go hit on her."

So, another Tseng gives me a buck. Meanwhile, everyone is laughing as I BOLT to this girl. But, they laughed harder once I told them what happened.

You see, this Rinoa had a boyfriend. So, when I ran up to her, asking if she would having my children, the Squall whips around, and narrows his eyes at me. This guy is like six feet tall, and BULKY.

So, I grinned, and RAN THE FUCK AWAY.

The rest of that consisted of me being a giant dick, and making sex jokes to everyone.



Sunday
Again, I pull a Reno. Problem is, I got wicked sick, and I started shaking next to Jay, who pulled a President Shinra.

Soon, I begin to just gag, and Soshi runs up to Jay and I, asking if I'm ok. I'm now on the floor, holding myself up, and gagging. Soon, Con Nurses come to my rescue, and then the BCC medical staff comes to me, asking if I want to go to the hospital.

I said no, and I was dragged into the staff-support room, where I slept for a while, while Kitty delt with the bitches she roomed with.

I curled up for a while, and fell asleep. I was woken up by one of the medical staff people, and he had bagles for me. So, I got a bagle, and guess what it was.

NANA.

Banana bread BAGLE.

And I ate it.

That was when Kitty and Jay came in. And we talked, and laughed at my cute sickness behavior.

So then, we leave, and Kitty's fucking roommates find us, right AFTER I get out of sickward.

And you know what they want? They want us all to drop a hundred dollars on their room because they blew all their money in the dealer's room.

And I was like, "I have five FUCKING dollars to my name. DIE."

So, Soshi comes up to us, with her AWESOME friend, who helped me with my sickness. And we told them, and they told us fuck that. So we did, and we crashed with Soshi.

And so, the drinking began.

I had coconut rum, with lots of juice, because I suck at life. Jay got plastered, and Kitty seemed ok. We all had a BLAST.

And, Soshi is my hero. The end.

And I went home today.

The end.

And, we stole one of those luggage carts from the hotel, and I slept in it a couple of times. People thought that was Reno tastic.

I? I was just fucking tired and lazy.

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Comments {9}

・ S O L D I E R ・ F I R S T ・ C L A S S ・

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from: cloud_strife
date: Sep. 17th, 2005 12:55 am (UTC)
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I jump on Robin's back, yelling that Rufus is my mighty steed.

You just made my day. Lol. XD

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Antonio Cicilia

Unknown File

from: turkswithrabies
date: Sep. 17th, 2005 12:57 am (UTC)
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It was fucking great.

I owned Rufus then.

*flex*

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Unknown File

from: cloud_strife
date: Sep. 17th, 2005 01:19 am (UTC)
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Haha. ;D

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Antonio Cicilia

Unknown File

from: turkswithrabies
date: Sep. 17th, 2005 01:29 am (UTC)
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And the poor Tseng. Oh man, I think he wanted me to die after a while, because he kept on blushing when I made sexual jokes.

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Unknown File

from: cloud_strife
date: Sep. 17th, 2005 01:29 am (UTC)
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XD Aww. Poor Tseng.

Sex jokes are awesome. X3

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Antonio Cicilia

Unknown File

from: turkswithrabies
date: Sep. 17th, 2005 01:32 am (UTC)
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SERIOUSLY. The poor man.

I just..slip into character when I cosplay Shinra people. People just have to fucking realize that.

But that guy was like, "*FACE-PALM*" the entire time.

Funny. Shit.

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Unknown File

from: cloud_strife
date: Sep. 17th, 2005 02:39 am (UTC)
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Lol

It's fun. ;) I do the same... but with me it just scares people off lol. XD;

Haha XD Too bad you don't have a pic of his expression ;)

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Erykah

Unknown File

from: requiemessence
date: Sep. 17th, 2005 02:35 am (UTC)
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Was Soshi's friend named Zarla and wear a tail? Just wondering if this is the same Soshi that my Sig. Other knew back from Katsucon o_O;

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Antonio Cicilia

Unknown File

from: turkswithrabies
date: Sep. 17th, 2005 02:37 am (UTC)
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It's the same Soshi, and Zar was one of the girls that helped.

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